I understand the food is the highlight of any occasion, and that you must be incredibly famished by then. That said, it is always respectable to start eating 20 seconds after, and not minutes before, everyone is seated and served.

If ever in doubt, look to your host; if he or she has picked up their utensils, you may begin. This is also helpful if you have no idea what utensil to use for an eccentric-looking dish.

Body Language

Keep your posture straight, and do not slouch. Remember, food to mouth, not mouth to food. It is not necessary to bend over an unnatural slant to get to your food.

Both your elbows should be off the table. If the dish requires one hand, keep the other visible on the table. As far as arms go, do not encircle your plate as though you are guarding your freshly hunted meat. 

People do not want to hear (or see) that.

Do take small bites, as bulging cheeks and flying food do not look becoming. On that note, please do not lick your knives, no matter how delicious the sauce is.

Noodles should not be cut, and food should not be scooped or stabbed (especially if chopsticks are involved). If someone asks you a question right when you have put a bite of food in your mouth, smile slightly (lips closed, obviously) and perhaps do a gentle shrug.

Do not rush through that bite or talk through it, as this will just make things worse, and unequivocally awkward.

Only take a sip or swallow a drink once you’re done chewing, unless you’re choking. That is clearly an exception.

Don’t reach over someone, ask someone to pass it to you, instead of waving your arms over someone else. Also, when passing the pepper, make sure you pass the salt as well.

Sip In Style

If you’re eating soup, dip the spoon sideways at the near edge of the bowl, then skim away from you. Sip from the side of the spoon. To retrieve the last spoonful of soup, slightly tip the bowl away from you. White wine glasses are held by the stem, but red wine glasses may be held by the bowl.

If you aren’t finished, cross your utensils as if constructing a little mountain. When you’re done, the two utensils are set parallel to each other and pointing frontwards on your plate.

Say “excuse me” when leaving, as leaving without a word is considered rude—even ruder than checking your phone at the table! Excuse yourself and head out, be it to check your phones, or pay a visit to the loo.

This is part of a feature that originally appeared in Malaysia Tatler November 2017 issue.