Otnes first mentions that previous studies on the subject yielded a few results, the most popular of which is that “lavish weddings are primarily ways for families to either communicate their current social prestige or to attempt to elevate their social status”.

Cinderella Dreams adds four more to this.

“1. Weddings are celebrations both of love of consumption and the consumption goods specifically…such as luxurious food, drink, attire and travel [Illouz, 1997];

2. Weddings [as well as engagements and honeymoons] allow consumers to inject magic into their lives [see Belk, 1991].

3. A wedding allows us to participate in a ritual that ‘freezes time’ [Gillis, 1996] and to remember ourselves through photographs, videos and other memory-capturing artefacts as youthful, beautiful celebrities within our social circle.

4. Weddings enable us to strive to achieve perfection in a consumption event.

The ethic that may lead many consumers to buy used cars or homes or take a vacation at a local lake resort rather than a trip to Europe is typically tossed out of the window when a wedding is planned. This is because the complex of businesses that profit from lavish weddings has successfully reconceptualised the lavish wedding not just as a rite, but also as a right for citizens in consumer cultures.”

Rightly or wrongly, these researchers look at lavish weddings from a commercial point of view. Most couples, however, start with simply wishing to freeze the day for the memories it holds. Since the wedding is a milestone they intend to share and revisit, it merely stands to reason that every detail should go smoothly. With this goal in mind, the checklist quickly grows, spurred on by the network of businesses promising the wedding of their dreams.

The wedding of Rambo Nuñez and Maja Salvador in July this year is a case in point. “We wanted an intimate wedding from the get-go”, declares Nuñez, “but I guess our desire to give ourselves, our families and our guests an occasion that will always be remembered elevated it to what many can call grand.” Ultimately, Nuñez realised it was not choosing between intimate and grand but creating an unforgettable memory.

Indeed, a wedding that is still remembered and discussed is that of Drs Vicki Belo and Hayden Kho, Jr on September 2, 2017, in Paris. The fairy-tale wedding of the century, as many called it, reportedly cost around PhP80 million.

The main wedding reception was at the Palais Garnier, a 1,979-seat opera house at the Place de l’Opéra, a symbol of Paris like Notre Dame Cathedral and the Louvre, and known for being the setting for The Phantom of the Opera. To hold the reception on the second floor, the entire opera house—which has, besides the auditorium, four salons and two foyers, two Rotonde, one grand staircase, a museum-library and several rehearsal studios—had to be closed down.

A pre-wedding welcome dinner aboard a yacht that cruised the River Seine was also held. Both receptions were catered by Potel et Chabot, described as “one of the world’s most prestigious caterers” by the Cannes-based events company luxury-wedding.com.

The list of must-haves can be mile-long. Hermosa cites what is on top of the list: Decor, food, bridal gown. “These three are the top non-negotiables that couples spend on,” he says. Other details enter the picture, depending on the couple’s preferences, adding to the tab.

But at the end of the day, all the decorations will be taken down, the food and drinks consumed, the bridal gown and groom’s tuxedo tucked away in their respective boxes. All that will remain are photographs and videos of an event whose moments cannot be brought back or re-enacted. This renders the value of the occasion priceless; thus, it can never be justifiably measured as intimate or grand, simple or lavish. Just memorable.

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