As a physiotherapist specialising in Women's Health as part of Joint Dynamics Evolve, my work revolves around providing others with advice on maintaining their health and well-being. I pride myself on encouraging clients to prioritise their wellness, urging them to invest time in themselves, and understanding their individual needs to support them and identify what realistically fits into their lifestyle. However, I found it increasingly challenging to take my own advice and forever put my own health and wellness needs to the bottom of my to-do list.

The need to change

The struggle of balancing work, home life and the needs of my young family meant I was constantly juggling, trying to get it all done, craving more hours in the day yet still feeling I was falling short, from rushing to finish work projects, to scrambling to support the kids in getting their homework done, neglecting physical movement, and getting increasingly short tempered with my ever-tolerant husband.

I noticed I was feeling more anxious, getting more irritated with the children when they procrastinated at bedtime and questioning myself with work decisions. I kept trying to get to the gym, or to remember to take lunch to work, or to set an alarm to fit in time for a stretch, but I always found something else I needed to do that took priority. In trying to meet everyone else's needs I was neglecting my own.

I have tried multiple times to reprioritise. I signed up to running challenges only to cram in all the training at the last minute. I paid for expensive personal training only to turn up late and spend half the session checking my emails. I set myself ‘physical goals’, only to not reach them and berate myself. 

What I finally realised I needed to do was nothing. Stop. Breathe. Not schedule. Not set unrealistic goals. Not fall into a wave of comparison or strive for achievements that others felt compelled to hit. Just to stop. Through work I attended a cacao ceremony, the idea of which was so far from anything I would usually do. It focused on taking the time to smell, breathe, stop and connect with the act of drinking your cacao. As simple as it sounded—and honestly my natural instinct was to think what an inefficient way to have a warm drink this was!—I realised that I exhaled, stopped and let go. I sat in the uncomfortable pause of nothingness and suddenly felt overwhelmingly emotional. I had time to reflect and I felt so grateful for where I was, my children, the amazing job I get to do, my body and my health. I had an immediate sense of appreciation and responsibility to look after myself. I had never really understood the idea of putting on your own oxygen mask before those of others, but it finally started to make some sense.

In doing ‘nothing’, I had allowed myself space and this has really been pivotal in my journey to prioritising me. In doing so I had space to really hear what my body needed and time to listen. It was amazing the impact this had and how it changed my priorities and intentions around exercise and health.

What the professionals say

As psychologist Kathryn Gale of Joint Dynamics Evolve says, “Behaviour change is always possible. It takes small, consistent actions and is a gradual, non-linear process. It’s imperative that the change is meaningful. Ask yourself if the change you intend to make is at least 7/10 important to you. If it isn’t perhaps ask yourself if it’s the right change or focus for you or if now is the right time.”

Breathe. Often it's the simplest things that make the biggest impact. Connecting with your breath can bring you back to the present. We make better decisions when we are in a more relaxed state; and this rings true of health and wellness decisions too. We breathe 22,000 times a day yet are rarely aware of our breathing. Taking a few minutes to connect to our breathing can drastically improve our stress levels, and in turn our health markers linked to longevity. 

Exercise is one of the most widely accepted and evidence-based actions you can take for your health, proven to improve mood, reduce risk of cardiovascular disease, diabetes and cancer, reduce risk of falling, improve bone health and muscle mass, and improve digestion. Georgia Cutt, exercise physiologist at Joint Dynamics Evolve highlights the importance of regular movement, indicating that the recommendations are 150 mins per week made up of a range of activities and ideally including twice weekly strength training. She notes, “Whilst this may sound daunting, this can be as little as 22 minutes per day. It can be as simple as walking more, taking the stairs up to the office, or as intricate as a highly specialised training programme. The key is to move more and aim to reach 6/10 on the RPE (rate of perceived exertion).”

What now?

Prioritising self-care may seem daunting, but remember, it's often the small changes that make a significant difference. It's about starting where you are and doing what you can. You don't have to wait for Monday or the start of a new month. There is no perfect time and it doesnt need to look perfect. It just needs to start. 

Here are some tips to help you get started on your journey to self-care:

1. Take time to stop: A slow and mindful cup of coffee, a few minutes of silence before you reach for your phone in the morning, a bath without distractions, or a meditation practice—taking time to stop even for a few minutes can help you really hear what you need.
2. Find something meaningful: Behaviour change experts highlight the value of doing something that’s important to you. Decide on your ‘why’, and then on your ‘what’, and then break it down into small ‘hows’ that you feel confident to achieve.
3. Ditch the pride: Whether it’s comparing yourself to a social media influencer or to your ‘previous’ self who could run a half marathon without breaking a sweat, or if you find yourself returning from a transition such as pregnancy, injury or menopause, don’t let your pride get in the way. What you are doing is right for you!
4. Be accountable: By this I don’t mean you have to share your journey publicly or track every run on Strava (although you can!), a simple intention setting such as ‘I am going to do 15 minutes of yoga today’ when you wake up, or scheduling your week of movement can make it much more likely that  you achieve your intentions.
5. Be realistic: This has been huge for me. Although I want to have 45 mins four times a week for a run or a gym session, the reality is this falls by the wayside as soon as something comes up (kids' illness, work deadlines, house moves, social commitments etc). Starting with something you can consistently achieve in these ‘crunch’ times means you will be much more likely to succeed—15 mins three times a week for a year is much better for you than a five-times-per-week programme you can only sustain for a few weeks.
6. Allow yourself flex: Life happens and we need to be able to pivot. If the baby was up all night and the gym session you intended is more of a stretch and move, don’t stress. Embrace that you did something, be kind to yourself and adapt as you go. 

Remember, self-care is not an indulgence; it's a necessity. Start your journey towards prioritising yourself now—because you matter.