A supposed expert on fashion and etiquette, Professor Proper does not think he is Mr Know-It-All. He knows that he knows, and has the answer to life’s toughest question, be it in matching the right scarf with your dress or (the ever perplexing) what to have for lunch. In this new column, expect Professor Proper to say anything but “I don’t know”.

Professor Proper is ready to answer your questions. Ask him anything!

I want to break free

I’m tired of fading into the background at social gatherings and parties. What can I do to stand out in group conversations without appearing obtrusive and awkward?

Always remember, there’s a difference between having to say something and having something to say. That being said, if you feel you really need to contribute to the conversation but have nothing to say, just ask your conversation mates a question about what they’re talking about.

Something general or in detail, just make sure you do not come across as an imbecile. Also, before you leave your home, check your social media newsfeed or even the real news, to see what’s been going on – that way, even if you can’t contribute, at least you’d know what’s ‘trending’ and going on, which would most likely be something that the others will touch on.

Finding a suitable match

How do I match the right shoe with my suit? Nothing fancy please, I’m very safe with my fashion choices.

These days, I wonder… What do they teach in kindergartens? It’s about colour coordination my friend. For example, a blue suit and a pair of red shoes – no, unless you want to look like a clown.

Always ensure your shoe colour complements the shade of your suit. So I’d got for black or brown if I were to wear a blue suit. If I were to wear a grey or charcoal one, I’d go for a black pair, which is the sure and safe option. I’m not too sure if I want to keep doing this, considering the questions coming in.

Oh wait, unless you were asking me about different kind of suits. Ok, then, well, I’d go for formal/dress shoes in a real suit, sports shoes for when I’m in a tracksuit and then maybe, just stick with socks when in my birthday suit? Well, the last one should be whatever suits you. Nothing fancy at all. 

Whatsapp doc?

I have been receiving a number work-related messages on my Whatsapp and I’m of the opinion that it’s a rather improper way of making the first contact. Am I wrong?

Well, from your question, I’m guessing you’re over 50? It’s alright, or as the young ones say these days, it’s ‘cool’. It doesn’t literally mean it’s cold by the way.

Let me put this to you as simply as I can. In this day and age, people are cheap and busy. Whatsapp is essentially like messaging and guess what, it’s relatively free! So yes, a lot of people wouldn’t want to waste their money on you. Apart from that, most people generally don’t have the time to check and reply their emails all the time, but they are almost constantly on their phone – when in the toilet, while driving, out on a date – so it is starting to become a norm.

Don’t worry if they don’t want to reply you, or are busy, they still won’t. So yes, you are becoming wrong, thanks to the times.

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Do you have any etiquette or fashion questions for Professor Proper? Send them to editor@my.asiatatler.com and yes, the professor also takes any tough questions you may have about life in general.

(Illustrations: Harvard Low)

In his first column last month, Professor Proper puts his two cents worth in solving a bride's plus-one conundrum.