Love Letters Series: Khairul Fahmy To Puteri Afzan Shakira
To my dearest wife,
This year marks our third year as husband and wife, I still find it hard to believe that time has passed so quickly. To be the father to our daughter and married to you, whom I regard as my best friend feels so surreal.
Do you remember that time when I asked you whether you have any regrets spending the rest of your life with me? It was a genuine question and not a statement to start a fight. I wanted to know if you feel like I do and was I glad to hear your response. Your defensive tone gave me comfort and showed me how much I meant to you. Now allow me to share how I feel.
September 3, 2015 was an exciting day for me, as I started a new chapter in my life with you. It was the happiest moment of my life but at the same time, I was a bit scared. I was afraid that we were in a ‘honeymoon phase’ and that this phase will fade away. But hey, you can’t blame me right? We both were venturing into something new in our lives. But the fear did not stop me from being myself and leading the life that I want with you. In fact, I am so glad and thankful to Allah that I am married to you. I wouldn’t have it any other way, but to marry my soul mate.
Life has never been better for me after marriage. Apart from the evidence in the size of my tummy, it’s also because of how amazing things have turned out. We both share the same interest in food, music, movies, fashion, video games, sports, almost everything lah! There is never a dull moment and there is always something to look forward to every single day with you. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company, doing basically anything. And yes, occasionally I also want my space to play my single player video games or football with the boys. After all, we are humans with individual needs too, and that is perfectly normal.
And I am grateful that you tolerate my needs very well, even though at times reluctantly. Haha!
I admit that our journey is not always rosy. There are ups and downs, but we pulled through. This is something beautiful that we have; yes sometimes our fights drag longer than expected but we always find a way to drop it regardless of who is right or wrong, because nothing is more important than our relationship and we would do anything to protect it.
Marriage taught me to always put you first, to care and be considerate towards your feelings and needs, to tolerate one another and to respect each other. I admit sometimes it’s really hard to accept that I’m wrong and you’re right, but bear with me, as that is still a work in progress. I keep telling myself that marriage is about respecting each other’s views and treating each other equally, it’s about helping to bring out the best in each other, and if I’m doing something wrong, tell me, and vice versa. Do not walk behind me, do not walk in front of me, but walk together with me by my side—I want you to feel that I am more your partner and a friend. Because I too am learning, and marriage is a journey of constant learning. We may make mistakes along the way, but we have each other throughout our journey, to learn and to grow as one.
And now we embark on another chapter in our relationship—parenthood. I can’t describe how excited and happy I am to go through this journey with you. It’s beautiful, it’s surreal and hard to explain. It’s challenging especially for you, the one carrying the baby, but you made it such a pleasant experience for the both of us. And February 8, 2018 will always be a special memory, as the strongest woman I know delivered our daughter, Khaira. To see you care for her and how overprotective you are, melts my heart every time. I know I’ve not been telling you this every day, but I want you to know that you’re incredibly beautiful to me, and even though we’ve only been parents for a few months, I’m confident that you’re an amazing mother as well as the perfect wife.
Last but not least, I want you to know that I may not be able to buy you everything you desire, but I can promise to love you to the fullest. I promise to be your number one fan and partner in crime. I promise to give you all the cuddles and kisses you want whenever I can, to laugh with you in times of joy and to comfort you in times of sorrow. I promise to listen to you with compassion and understanding, and encourage you. I’ll respect and appreciate you, and do whatever I can to keep our relationship interesting, to never let the spark die and to keep this ‘honeymoon phase’ permanent.
I promise to support you, inspire you and above all, love you faithfully through good times and the bad, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health. I will be there for you, believing that love never dies. As you’ve given me your hand, so I give you my life. What I possess, I give to you. I’ll hold, comfort, protect and shelter you, all the days of my life.
I love you Puteri Afzan Shakira Nabila,
Read the previous part of the Love Letters Series, from Ahmad Lutfi to Siti Saleha, here.