In September, we touched on whether men should still be the ones to propose and this month, we moved on to another subject: is it rude to leave a party ahead of the guest of honour? We asked two personalities, Grazia Iannarelli and Sainy Chun, to put their two cents on this hot topic for the month.

 

Grazia Iannarelli, wife of the Italian trade commissioner to Malaysia and well-known Italian lawyer

YES

Etiquette is not something that you can ‘adventurously’ interpret. I think leaving a party before the guest of honour is absolutely prohibited. To answer the above question, it’s necessary to first specify the circumstances as well as the person’s role at a party. For example, it’s important to understand whether we are talking about a seated dinner or a cocktail party and if the person is a normal attendee or a diplomatic delegate. In the first scenario, leaving the function before the guest of honour is inappropriate. If it is a cocktail party organised to celebrate a country’s national day, then the guest must stay until the diplomats have left.

Waiting for the guest of honour to leave the party is a rule that must be followed unless of course there is an emergency that cannot be avoided. However, even in this case it would be necessary to explain to the guest of honour why you are leaving. If the party is rather informal and you need to rush to somewhere else, you could just leave subtly without telling anyone. Anyway it’s good manners not to leave the party ahead of the guest of honour!

Sainy Chun, the owner of French Restaurant,Maison Française

NO

It should be acceptable for guests to leave before the guest of honour provided it is done discreetly and not before the official function takes place. For example, guests should not leave before the guest of honour gives a speech or an award. It is rude to arrive after the guest of honour because guests are there to help the host welcome the guest of honour. Imagine what would it be like to walk into a half empty room or be at a half empty table—it is definitely not an honour! 

Nowadays, we all live a busy and hectic lifestyle. Not everyone is able to fit a full function into their schedules. I know of many people who could attend two functions in one evening and that is only possible if they could leave one function before it officially ends. This way people are able to attend important dinners or parties without sacrificing their priorities. A lot of people would choose not to join in a party, if they were made to stay till the guest of honour left. Some dinner parties can ramble on for hours, especially if the guest of honour moves on from his wine to whisky or cognac and then cigars. In instances like this, it may be acceptable for guests to excuse themselves.

 

 

Last month's great debate: Should men still be the ones to propose?

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