Given their similar pronunciations, the terms ‘Dato'’ and ‘Datuk’ are often mistakenly thought to be the same.

“’Datuk’ is a federal title as well as one conferred in Malacca, Penang, Sarawak, and Sabah that have Governors. ‘Dato’s are conferred in states that have a ruler".

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To recap: an individual with the title ‘Dato’' has been given this title by a Sultan while a ‘Datuk’ or 'Datuk Seri' is a federal title given by the Yang Di Pertuan Agong or the King of Malaysia. That said, titles of 'Datuk' and 'Dato' Sri' may also be conferred by the ruler of a state.  

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The title ‘Tun’ is the highest federal title awarded by the Yang Di Pertuan Agong to an individual who has contributed significantly to the nation. The wife of a ‘Tun’ subsequently receives the title of ‘Toh Puan’.  

Does that make ‘To’ Puan’ the same moniker, just from a different state? Nope: there’s a big difference:

“'To’ Puan' is the wife of a Terengganu 'Dato' or the wife of some of the titled princes who are not royal,” shares Tunku Dara - a great tip to remember the next time you attend the wedding of a Dato Seri and To' Puan.  

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Interestingly, the title ‘Datin Paduka’ has the same rank as ‘Dato’–the former is conferred in Selangor only.

“In other states, a woman can receive the honorary title of ‘Dato’.” Tunku Dara adds.

Meanwhile, the wife of a 'Datuk' receives the title of 'Datin', while a Tan Sri's wife is known as 'Puan Sri'.   

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A great tip for when you're meeting a high-ranking person for the first time: repeat that person's title many times once you are introduced to help you remember.  

"Listen to when their names are mentioned and use it often thereafter," says Tunku Dara, whose memory skills in this area have no doubt proved extremely useful in social events and meetings that she has attended in the past.  

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The list of honorary titles in Malaysia can run quite lengthy, making it a considerable feat to remember names and their corresponding titles accurately. How does one avoid common honorific faux pas?

“Avoid using honorific styles like YAM (Yang Amat Mulia) or YABhg (Yang Berbahagia) etc, because you will probably get it wrong,” Tunku Dara warns. 

As the same title can take on different forms across various Malaysian states, it might prove a challenge to remember what states use which spellings. Tunku Dara offers this tip when in doubt: “If you are not sure of a person’s rank, you might get away with using Dato or Datuk.” 

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