Whether you have a mane, a goatee, a stache or a face as smooth as a baby's bottom, these devices will do you a world of good.

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I imagine a time in the future, when a father will sit his teenage son down and hand him a box. He will tell him “Son, you’re going to be a man now; you’re going to need this.” The son excitedly opens the box and finds his first electric shaver; he cries tears of joy and lives happily ever after.

Of course, the odds are higher that the future will be dystopian full of unkempt men repelling any and all women with their un-groomed beards and hair, virtually dooming humanity to extinction.

So, for the sake of the children, for the sake of the future, and most of all, for the sake of the women, here are five machines every man needs to keep his mane looking fresh and clean.


Remington HyperFlex Rotary Shaver

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The electric shaver is an underrated marvel of modern technology. With several types available, the triple rotary shaver is one of the latest developments that guarantees a close and clean shave. Most brands have no need for shaving creams, are rechargeable and also waterproof.


Panasonic ES-4815

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As an alternative to the rotary shavers, small electric shavers like this still come in handy. They’re easier to store and more convenient to carry when travelling. Although the cleanliness of the shave may differ across the brands, most of them can be washed, making hygiene no issue.


Braun beard trimmer BT5090

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Almost every man feels the primal urge to grow a beard every full moon, and having a trimmer  will keep you from looking like the wolfman. Most trimmers have combs with adjustable lengths, so you can grow your beard long and still look awesome. Additionally, precision trimmers also help keep shorter beards and moustaches in shape.


Phillips Bodygroom Series 3000

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A caveat on this one: some women like chest hair and someone women don’t but self-grooming shouldn’t depend on what women want, even though it usually does. While most trimmers also double as bodygroomers,  this machine is flexibly designed to work across all body types and is also shower-proof.


Wahl Lighted Detailer

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While plenty of attention is given to the beard and moustache, the nose, the ears and the eyebrows are ignored to great peril. Multi-tasking trimmers like the one above keep nose hair and ear hair trimmed to standard. Additionally, they can also keep the eyebrows in shape, and more importantly, apart.


Gillette Fusion ProGlide and Mach 3

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As a bonus, because there might not be electricity in the dystopian future, it’s safer to keep the good old razorblade on hand. Advancing technology has also benefitted this contraption with ever improving designs making them better and lighter. Stating the obvious: always use shaving cream and after-shave is advisable; your skin will thank you. So will those dystopian women.


Because we promote equality, here are 5 high-tech grooming tools every woman needs.